I'm depressed. I've been wanting to shout it from every online account I have, but I grew out of that when I was 15, so I come here.
These blogs have become a sort of Haven lately. My mind is in more turmoil then its been in months. For the first time in ages,I scratched another tally mark into my bedroom wall.
It all started when I realized how much I'm alone...Molly goes out with friends constantly, but my small fragile circle has broken up, and I've never been good at making new friends...really, I've always made friends through friends I already had...and now that there are none...there are no new friends to meet.
Half of my friends went to college, and all but two (Alison and Spencer, Spence being my friend for almost 13 years) have just told me...I'm not a college kid, so I'm a loser, and ceased talking to me altogether.
The rest just...found different friends. I'm left with Steph, who has been my best friends for almost seven years, but now she is always with Christina, and honestly, has been downing me in front of people lately. I don't really blame her...right now, Christina can just give her something that I can't. I'm just happy that she has someone she can go to, even if that someone isn't me. God knows how much I hate constantly turning to this screen instead of a actual face to vent.
But such is life.
I wonder, what have I done to truely offend this many people? Elizabeth....Brent....Christina....Joey....etc. Am I such a horrible person, and I just don't realize it? I keep probing myself, hoping to figure it out. But I can't.
I just miss going out with friends and doing nothing, but having so much fun doing it.
The rest just...found different friends. I'm left with Steph, who has been my best friends for almost seven years, but now she is always with Christina, and honestly, has been downing me in front of people lately. I don't really blame her...right now, Christina can just give her something that I can't. I'm just happy that she has someone she can go to, even if that someone isn't me. God knows how much I hate constantly turning to this screen instead of a actual face to vent.
But such is life.
I wonder, what have I done to truely offend this many people? Elizabeth....Brent....Christina....Joey....etc. Am I such a horrible person, and I just don't realize it? I keep probing myself, hoping to figure it out. But I can't.
I just miss going out with friends and doing nothing, but having so much fun doing it.
1 comment:
(I don't know if it wanted my username on WordPress or my blog thing...but whatever)
It's Alison btw :D
You are not a horrible person, chica. If they ditched you simply because you're not in college, then they're the losers and dickheads, not you. I'm here for ya. :3 I wish I could do something to ease your mind, but I'm not very good at comforting people. So let me just say that I love ya, I miss ya, and I hope I get to see you again soon <3 We can go to Pizza Hut and dork out :D
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